Best Hummus Ever ©Neil

Ingredients

• 4x Cans of Chickpeas (Drained) 
• A fuck ton of Garlic. 
• 2tbps of Sesame Seeds 
• ½ cup of 🍋 juice 
• ¾ cup of water 
• ½ cup of olive oil 
• 2 tbps of pine nuts 
• ½ Red pepper 
• Souls of your vanquished enemies, the more the better. 
• “Handful” of coriander and basil 
• 1 tsps of; 
• Tumeric 
• Cumin 
• Garam Masala
• 2 tsps of Mustard Seeds 
• 3 tsps of Maldons Smoked Sea Salt 
• 1 tsps of chilli flakes, more if you're not a little bitch. 

Method

• Put all the shit above into a food processor. Turn the food processor on. Turn off again when at desired chunkyness. 

This will make quite a lot of hummus. But who doesn't want a fuck tonne of hummus? If you want less for some reason divide the quantity in half. If you want even less then you're a disappointment.